- Write for this blog on a regular basis again. This one is self-explanatory.
- Cut down on drinking. If that fails, cut it out completely. Alcohol has been getting the better of me the past year or so. I have a hard time limiting the number of drinks in one sitting and I’m getting sick much sooner instead of feeling the positive feelings of getting drunk. However, for anybody who has seen me in public this past weekend I’m not counting those activities. My birthday was Friday, which I celebrated at the Goth/Industrial night at a nightclub in Portland. I had booked a hotel room in order to stay up late and drink. Then on Saturday family and friends went bar hopping. I purposely was not the one driving. And last night I went to a New Year’s Eve party in Westbrook, and the hosts were kind enough to let me crash there. I admit that the beer got the better of me that time but I still have no regrets. However, this past weekend was supposed to be my last hurrah with alcohol. I now need to limit my drinking to weekends only (barring unusual events throughout the week) and stop at no more than two beers. If I fail this, I will quit drinking again.
- Whenever possible, when going out in public adopt as Gothic a look as possible. When this is not possible, such as at work, a quick errand or I just need to do a load of laundry, at least dress up a little. As I was getting ready to go to the party yesterday I contemplated wearing an old t-shirt promoting the album “Morbid Tales” by Celtic Frost. The party had an eighties theme and this was the closest I had to something that would fit. However, it just didn’t look right on me anymore. I don’t feel right going out in band tees. Dress shirts are going to be my new “normal” look while I am going to attempt to look outrageous whenever I can. I’m even contemplating growing my hair out after all despite the male-pattern baldness and seeing if I can’t still do something Gothic with it. After all, to be a Goth is to be morbid, losing hair is a sign of aging, which in turn is a sign of decay and ultimately death. That, and I want to try something different.
- Resume routines of exercise and meditation. I can start meditating again right away. Unfortunately, however, I can’t go out jogging this time of year considering how icy the roads are and how cold it is in the Northeast. I may have to join a gym. Even then, though, I won’t be able to until after February when I get my hours back at work. I would probably want to wait until after the RPM Challenge as well, which leads into my next resolution.
- Resume work on music with the intent on increasing output from before, but recognize it as more of a hobby than a career aspiration. Aside from my usual participation in the RPM Challenge, Mike and I were discussing new work for Popkin-Salvador. I want to also go back and re-record (and in some cases, rewrite) some older Shadows of Immurement songs.
- Pay off credit card debt. I know that I’ve whined about this before, but I am in a much better financial situation now at work than I have ever been. Paying off the debt should be achievable this year. I also had an incentive a few months ago to do so. I was looking at a house but I was denied the mortgage as I had too much credit card debt (fortunately I still have a good credit rating). I had already changed my mind on the house anyway by the time I found out about the mortgage but I will still run into the same problem if I don’t get my affairs in order.
- Start being more social. I’ve been going to the same nightclub for most of the Friday nights throughout the year. That’s great, but I still tend to be quiet.* I’m fine when other people start conversations but I have a hard time starting them myself. I’m getting better at it and have even introduced myself to people but I’m still getting the hang of this whole social-interaction thing. I should try to meet one new person every time I go out—not just to there but other locations as well, if anything for the practice.
- At the same time, reduce the amount of times going out. I don’t mean that I won’t go out to a nice restaurant for dinner if I feel like it. It does mean that I won’t go driving around all over the place to comparison shop for a pair of work pants at every retailer in the area only to decide to not get anything. I’ve also wasted too much gas using my car a a stereo on wheels. I have a friend who has a coffee shop two towns over and I like to support her business—but I can’t drive out there just for a cup of coffee with the excuse of “running errands while I’m out.” So, I will try to socialize more when I go out, but going out has to become more meaningful. Besides, staying at home will help with my next resolution.
- Catch up on my reading. The main reason that I stopped writing book reviews for a while was because of the tall stacks of books on my coffee table that I bought recently. I need to get through those because a.to get back to reviewing new-ish releases and b.I just want to.
- Finally: write, write, write. I didn’t just take an unintentional half a year hiatus from writing for this blog. I slacked off completely on any writing. I feel the need to try to start a fresh project (yes, again) just so I can get back into it but at the same time I must take a crack at the drafting process for my other work. This might not be the normal, “right” way of doing things but I can’t dwell on that anymore. I spend too much time worrying about how I’m doing things wrong instead of doing anything about it. This the biggest problem that I have with writing, which I want to make the biggest part of my life.
I normally don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I hate the formality and commercialization of bettering one’s self that has developed this time of year. But I usually have these sort of thoughts after indulging over my birthday, which is only a few days earlier. On top of that, knowing that this weekend was going to be essentially one long party I felt that it was a good time to refresh myself. It all started with the resolution to drink less (or not at all) after the weekend. Everything else went from there. I remembered that when I quit drinking the last time I was more creative and motivated to become healthier, both physically and mentally. Why not try all of this again?
*Originally I had written that I still tend to be a wallflower at the club. I started dancing pretty regularly when a good song comes on so I wasn’t sure if I could correctly use the term. I’m still not making conversation while dancing—one could even make the argument that dancing allows me to not have to. Does that still count under the “wallflower” category?