Not reading enough. Or writing enough. Or anything else enough.

Up to this point the book reviews I’ve written for this blog have been (relatively) new releases that I’ve usually borrowed from the library. I took the month of January off from reviews with the intent on catching up on older material from my personal library. However, I’m failing in this regard. I’m not even caught up on last week’s issue of The New Yorker, let alone the new one. It’s my fault for picking The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens as the first book to read. Sure, it’s fairly light reading but it’s a lot longer than I had realized. That’s one problem with reading books on an e-reader. I should have looked up the page count online first.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/76/The_Writings_of_Charles_Dickens_v1_p4_%28engraving%29.jpg

Do I finish this book, regardless of whether or not I get to anything else this month? Or do I stop now and go for the shorter books instead? The latter option wouldn’t be very difficult. I’m pretty sure I can pick up the thread of the story afterwards. But when will I get back to it? I could possibly read it once I get back to the book reviews. I almost always read those books in one sitting, usually on Saturday mornings. That gives me the rest of the week to read Dickens at a more leisurely pace.

I could also just totally abandon work on the two screenplays I’m writing, plus any guitar practice or anything else just in order to finish this book. That doesn’t sound desirable but I am tempted. I’m the type of person that likes to get everything done before I move onto the next thing, whether it be productive or entertaining. The problem is that I don’t always know when one thing is done nor am I ever sure as to what to do next.

I have so many things I want to do that I thought structure would help. It does somewhat, but I still find myself leaving things out. When I thought I nailed a routine with writing, guitar practice, jogging (oh, yeah, haven’t done that in a while) and meditation (ditto) I wasn’t reading as much nor was I catching up on movies, socializing or even playing video games. And don’t get me started on my addiction to podcasts.

This blog post started off as me kicking myself for not reading quickly enough or setting aside time to. I think it’s starting to turn into a blog post for kicking myself for not working on either screenplay today. I think I’m going to stop now before I beat myself up too much. I have a growing suspicion that stressing myself out for not doing anything is keeping me from doing anything about not doing anything.

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