Lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve been in a rut creatively. I haven’t written much outside of this blog, and even then I’m not blogging as much as I want to. I get pissed off at work, come home slack off. Then I end up feeling guilty, which only distracts me from productivity even more so. I’ve started wondering if I should take another break from creative pursuits like I did a couple of months ago during the entire month of March. I followed that with a burst of writing, which included some works that I self-published on Amazon.
Then there are other times I feel like giving up altogether. Why not? What am I doing with this degree, after all? Wouldn’t I feel less disappointment if I just resigned myself to retail and come home five days a week, watch T.V. and go out on the weekends? Probably not—I would always feel the disappointment more if I don’t at least let this writing out of me, even if I never get anywhere with it. But I need to do something. I’m tempted to just put everything in storage and go backpacking in Europe. Except I hate camping.
Then I had an idea this morning before I went to work for a new writing project that gave me some new energy. I’m not sure what I want to do with it. I was thinking of either a short story or maybe a novella, but nothing too long. I’m trying to stick to screenwriting these days, to see if I can make some use out of my degree. Perhaps I can make it into a short film. I don’t want to give too much away. I let it leak to a bunch of people already and have received a positive response. Perhaps it’s too good an idea to give a way. (Or I could just be trying to feed my own ego.) All I’ll say is that it involves centaurs.
In the meantime, I’m still working on the other screenplay. But I keep slacking off on the revising process. I keep saying that I’m waiting for other people’s input, but why should that hinder my own progress?
So, what about the blog? I can’t keep writing about how I can’t keep writing. It seems that my more popular blog posts are either my book reviews and my flash fiction. I can’t write the latter for every day and still try to keep up with my “main” projects. I’m also not writing book reviews until March. I’m certainly not writing any for The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens. I may even pause reading that one so I can try to get caught up on some shorter works, anyway.
So I’ll try to start the centaur project tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take a notebook to a coffee shop instead of working on it here at home. I got a new office chair for Christmas, though, and I would hate to not get any use out of it other than to sit around watching videos on YouTube all the time. If I can’t focus on what I’m doing for a few days maybe I’ll take the rest of the month off from writing other than blogging. I’m already taking February off so I can focus on the RPM Challenge, but that doesn’t feel like a break to me.