Self-Discovery Saturday: Having a “Non-Goth” day.

Today I’m heading up to Portland. One of my favorite bands, a Talking Heads cover band called Start Making Sense is playing there again this evening. I figured I would make a day of it. I may not have a lot of money at the moment as I just paid rent (somewhat on time for once) but I might get my holiday shopping started. That’s not to mention my usual road trip diversions and thrift shop hunting on the way.

So why does this fall under the “self-discovery” category that I set up on this blog? I could resort to “Well, it’s my blog damn it and I can call it what I want.” But there is something relevant about today’s plans to the ongoing theme I’ve been working with here. Despite all of the changes that I’ve been making in my life as I’m trying to better understand myself, it’s worth noting that there are still many aspects to me that haven’t changed. I’m still a big Talking Heads fan. I still love Portland. I still enjoy all the little diversions that are available to me on the way up.

Still, what does that have to do with anything? One of the running themes with this whole self-discovery thing is that I’ve been exploring the more Gothic side of my personality and tastes. There’s nothing particularly Goth about my plans for today. But Goths can do non-Goth things, right? (And yes, I’m aware that according to some, calling oneself a Goth is a non-Goth thing. I’m using the excuse that I’m still new.) But I’ve marked today for a “non-Goth” day in which I don’t even bother trying to look the part or listen to the music for the entire trip.

I’m not going to dress to the nines, even if I could with what little appropriate clothing I have. I’m still developing my wardrobe, but it’s also close to laundry day. Aside from that, one of the first stops I’m going to make before I head north is the town dump. I don’t want to wear anything that might get ruined. I hope to not spill anything on myself, but it’s best to be prepared. If I don’t, great, then I’ll just head back up the coast. If I do, then I can come back home and change and not worry about what I might have gotten dirty. So I’m going to throw on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, possibly my David Byrne t-shirt (if it still fits me—I haven’t gained weight but it shrank a lot more than I expected in the wash).

For another thing, I haven’t shaved in a few days and I’m not going to today. The store where I work has a special higher employee discount day on Monday, so I plan on picking up razors then. In the meantime, I’m a little scruffy. I still haven’t been able to get over my hang-up about dressing up while not clean-shaven, Goth or not.

Finally, I want to be comfortable as I’m going to be in a car for a long time and then walking around for a while when I’m not driving. I also don’t want to get any good shirts wrinkled in the process. If I was going straight up to Portland to go to a club that would be one thing, but I’m not even going straight to that city first thing.

Once I got this in my head I realized that I haven’t been listening to the majority of my music collection lately. It’s time to revisit some old friends. That’s not to say that when I’m sifting through CDs at thrift shops I won’t be looking for some The Cure or Bauhaus discs to complete my collection but on the way I’ll throw my iPod onto a mix. There is a new episode of a Goth podcast that I listen to that just dropped today, so I can’t escape that world.

But all of this got me thinking that if I truly adopt the Gothic lifestyle for myself, I’ll still probably need a “Non-Goth Day” now and then to clean the pallet. Again, that’s not to say that I won’t be able to enjoy listening to Talking Heads while I’m putting on my eyeliner in the morning. I’m just going to have some days when I’m “bumming it” and not putting on the eyeliner at all, like today.


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