Monday Random Thoughts: a closet with no hangers.

  • I’m swapping around the Monday Book Review and Tuesday Random Thoughts this week. I didn’t feel comfortable just yet with writing a book review tonight. Plus, I had so many things happen lately (not all of which I can go into here to protect other people’s privacy) that I’ve been too preoccupied to write something intelligent enough. Besides… alright, fine, I didn’t finish reading the book yet, okay?
  • I recently came out to most of my friends that I’m asexual. Actually, the “coming out” process wasn’t really that big a deal to me. It just took a long time for me to accept this fact about myself. I was so used to identifying as “straight” for so long that I didn’t want to address what was in the back of my mind so long. Recent events forced me to think about it and finally come to terms with what I am. I got the overwhelming response from my friends, though, that it wasn’t a big surprise. Apparently, this was a secret about myself that I was the last one to know about.
  • I know that might contradict things that I’ve said on this blog. If it clears up matters at all I will say that I’m a grey asexual—I may occasionally feel urges but have no desire to act upon them. Not only that, but upon examination I realized that none of my fetishes technically have anything to do with sexual activity in of itself. It’s good that I have them. As I effectively excused myself from sex from here on out, masturbation has now become more of a health issue.
  • Alright, one more thought on the asexuality issue: I’m now a lot more comfortable with myself, which is probably the main thing. I’m no longer straining myself to be something that I’m not. I don’t have to feel like a failure at not working up the courage to ask somebody out, or not “getting anywhere” on the occasion that I would actually be on a date with somebody. I now can go out to a bar on a Saturday night with the sole reason of enjoying a beer at a bar on a busy night. Or I could just say home and not feel ashamed about it.
  • I’m currently reading the second of two books that I was going to review for this week’s blog. I thought it might be interesting to compare the two. However, there’s no real connection between them other than they’re both translated from different languages than English. I suppose I’ll still probably write a short review of each book. Then again, it’s been since yesterday morning since I read the first one and I’m not sure that I’ll have much to say about it anyway. Of course, I could still be apprehensive. My first review was much better than I thought it would be, and in my head I have the fear of living up to such high expectations of my work. That might not be such a bad thing except it’s at such a degree that it’s almost debilitating. I’m sure I’ll get through it. I just don’t know if it will be any good this week.

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