After cleaning my apartment this afternoon, I intended on spending the rest of the day relaxing by engaging in some sort of pastime. Unfortunately, I ran into a snag. I have two stacks of books on my coffee table as well as a bunch on my Kindle that I haven’t read I have several DVDs and movies in my Netflix list that I haven’t watched. I’m behind on my podcasts. I have several video games that I haven’t started, not to mention the ones that I haven’t beaten yet. I have so many choices that I don’t know where to start. I take so long trying to decide what to do next that I end up losing time and don’t get to any.
I keep thinking that the more I get caught up with these things the less choices that I have. The end result would be that whether or not I’m in the mood to do a thing, it’s the only thing I have to do so I put up with it. The idea would be that I would be a more cultured person as a result of doing that thing. I don’t know if that would actually happen but at least my decision-making process would be less of a headache.
I didn’t want to go into working on the screenplay, or even write a blog post right after cleaning the apartment. I wanted something of a break. I haven’t been writing as much as I should have recently because of work. There’s another stupid cycle I got myself into: I write with the hope that someday it would get me out of my stupid retail job, but with all of the overtime I’m doing lately, when I do get the time to write I’m too burnt out to do so. But I shouldn’t have a similar problem when I’m intentionally trying to enjoy myself.
I could say that by cleaning my apartment I’m all caught up with anything I have to do outside of work, so I have all of next weekend free. There’s truth to that, but that still doesn’t answer why today was so hard.
I can’t even reason what to do first. Reading is the most like work out of all of the activities that I listed, even though I enjoy it just as much. So I would want to do that first, right? But wait, I’m home, and I’m paying for Netflix, so I should take advantage of it while it’s there. I’m so close to beating Super Metroid but I haven’t played it in months. Do I really want to invest the time in that now? If I start a different game, wouldn’t that defeat the purpose?
Then again, maybe the problem is that I’m putting too much thought into it. Now, I know with me that’s hard to believe. But I realize that writing this out in a blog post it certainly looks that way. (In all seriousness, I wonder if this blog is really for my subconsciousness to point out how much I overthink things.) I should do whatever I’m in the mood for. The problem is that I have no idea what I’m in the mood for. I’m just in the mood to do something. So, I wrote today’s blog post.
Wait, when did this blog become a last resort for boredom?