The big mystery gift in my living room.

I was talking to my father on the phone the other night when he dropped this one on me: my Christmas present is arriving tomorrow, and he wanted me to know that he’d have to get in my apartment to bring it inside. Apparently it’s too big to take to his place first and then bring here, even though we live thirty seconds apart on the same street. He’s going to bring it inside and then cover it up. I promised him that I won’t look until Friday.

I’m going to keep my word on this. It doesn’t sound like anything that I’ll have to feed in the meantime. But tell me that that it won’t be fucking tempting to peek. I think I know what it is. There were two things in the last few months that I dropped hints at that could be big, and of those two I doubt he got me the big screen television. That’s fine, I can still get that on my own (especially as my review went through and I just got another raise). I won’t spoil my own surprise by mentioning my guess here. Of course, if the covering on the item takes on a sort of… shall we say, “recliner” shape, then I think I’ll have a pretty good idea.

I’m mostly done with my own shopping. I have one or two things to get for my father that I can get at work. In that case its simply a matter of remembering. Then I want to pick up some loaves of bread from a local bakery for everybody. That went over well last year. I have to pick those up on Wednesday as they don’t have preservatives. They need to be kept in cold storage, although I can probably leave them out until Friday. What the recipients do with their bread is up to them. As this place is also popular I need to order the types of bread that I want to get in the morning.

It is getting really annoying every year when we can’t think of anything for each other. I’m probably the easiest of the bunch, and as I don’t even celebrate the holiday itself I can’t feel too good about that. This year I resorted to a lot of gift cards. That doesn’t look so great under the tree but I’m giving up on trying to think too hard on what “things” to get. I got a few small items to fill out the pile but it still looks pretty sad.

On top of it all, I still don’t make as much as everybody else. When I said that I can get my own big screen television, I really meant down the line once my credit card is paid off. (And before anybody starts in on me, yes, I’m going out a bit on this weekend and might buy myself something nice on Tuesday. But concerts happen when they happen, and Tuesday is my birthday—my most important holiday.) So I start to feel bad for not getting as much for everybody else as they got for me. Getting gift cards really makes it possible for everybody else to track what I spent. I don’t think they care. But I do, and I get self-conscious of it. Maybe I’ll be able to spend more next year.

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