I bought a toaster today. Yes, that’s what this blog post is about. #toaster

I bought a new toaster today from the department store I work at. It seems to work okay, although it had a funky smell the first time I used it. I think I probably should have cleaned it first. I am concerned about the fact that when the toast pops up I can see a flash from behind the handle. Should I stop using it? I wouldn’t think anything of it if the same thing hadn’t happened to my other toaster before it died. Could there be something wrong with the outlet? Or is it just because I get cheap toasters?

To that end, I wouldn’t mind the expense if I couldn’t use the thing anymore. We had a special shopping day today in which employees get thirty percent off everything. I ended up getting the thing for seven bucks. (Math quiz: how much was the toaster originally? How cheap are the parts? How much do I spend on the bread to put in it?) I knew what I was getting when I paid for it.  Nevertheless, I’d like to be able to use it. Microwaving my bread just isn’t the same.

I suppose I could try a different outlet to see if I get the same results. It could also be that I’m using the wrong kind of toaster with the electrical writing in my kitchen. Somehow I doubt. I don’t think of toasters as major appliances that require an electrician to install.

I’m now thinking that maybe that funky smell is related to the flashing.* Perhaps it was just something in the mechanism of popping up the toast that caused some of whatever residue was in the toaster to burn up. Maybe if I used it a few more times it will go away. I think I’ll try that. In the meantime, however, I’m going to keep the toaster unplugged when not in use.

Did I really just write a whole blog post about at toaster?  Would that be a blog toast? I guess I invested so much of today’s word count on the one subject it didn’t feel right to meander as much as I normally do. You could say that I was on a roll.

I was actually going to try to come up with more bread-related puns but I didn’t want to spend that much time trying to think of any. For that matter, I’ve never put a roll into a toaster. I would have to cut what I think would be a normal-sized roll in two pieces to even stick them into the damn thing, and then they would be too small to get out of it. How does that work? Can we actually defy mathematical laws with a small appliance and baked goods? I sure hope so. In that case I hope that this blog post in particular will one day be regarded one of the milestones in the history of science.

*Now imagine if I started the blog post with that sentence. Would you automatically think of appliances, or my lewd activities in public spaces?


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