If couples can have a big ceremony celebrating their marriage, then why can’t I have a similar ceremony celebrating my decision not to marry? Of course, nobody directly told me that I couldn’t. But then again, as far as I know we have no such common legal practice at least in my state to formalize such arrangements. Should I refer to such a thing as non-arrangements? When I first thought of this idea I tried hard to come up with what I should name the whole proceedings without trying to get too clever. I thought of “anti-marriage” and “non-wedding” but somehow those don’t feel right. Thanks to a friend of mine, I also have the term “nopetials” to use. However, I’m not really not interested in playing the opposites game. If I go through with this I won’t have a “worst man” or anything like that. I’m thinking of a simple civil ceremony with a few friends and family. In other words, I would have a pretty similar ceremony to whatever I would want if I got married.
Why go through all of this? It does seem unfair to me that people place so much of an emphasis on marriage to start with. As I have said before, I only support marriage when used for its original intent, which is as a means to control inheritance. But I don’t have any interest in doing so. If I know I’m going to die soon I’ll start giving away all of the possessions I don’t need until then. That way I can see my stuff going to the right people. I can enjoy them enjoying it. I might get a bit sentimental with some of my stuff but what’s the point if I won’t need it anymore? And as I have said many times before, I have absolutely no intent to ever have children.
I also find it annoying that as I won’t get married I ordinarily won’t get all of the pomp and circumstance that goes with it. I accept that I won’t get tax breaks (as that fits the whole financial arrangement of marriage that makes sense to me). But as I find my decision to not get married is just as valid as somebody’s decision to get married, then why can’t I get the same celebration?
This doesn’t mean that I’ll never be open to having a romantic relationship with somebody. I’m not coming out as asexual (or nonsexual, a term which I prefer but also recognize isn’t as widely used). And hey, I could change my mind down the line. If married couples get divorced, then I don’t see why, if after going through the whole non-marriage ceremony, I get married. I doubt it, though.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to do this or not yet. Something like this can wait. I have no obligation to somebody, which includes formalizing a relationship with them. But I’m leaning towards the direction of going for it. If anything it could be fun. There would be meaning behind it as well. The real trick is announcing this to my family. While this is tongue-in-cheek I’m still serious. Will they take me as seriously as they should?