I said I was going to take a break before going back to review the outline for my next screenplay. I didn’t think it would be as long a break as it’s turning out to be. I meant to get to it today but I was too tired. Man, that sounds like the classic lazy excuse, doesn’t it? Normally I don’t have any problem with sloth as it is one of the seven virtues but this time it’s only a small part of the reason why I’m not getting any work done. There’s no point in trying to review something when I can’t give it complete focus. I’ll end up taking a stance of “Yeah, that’s good enough” which would negate the whole point.
I couldn’t get to sleep on time last night and as usual these days I woke up to go to the bathroom a couple of hours before I was due to get up anyway. I did manage to get back to sleep but it really felt unfulfilled as the alarm went off this time. Normally I can have another cup of coffee at work in that situation, which helps, but only when I’m working a “normal” day—in other words, when I spend most of my shift in my office. I had to run the service desk again, which meant I couldn’t have coffee on the sales floor. I managed to down an energy drink on my lunch break but that high didn’t last once I got home. Plus, getting stressed out by not getting all of my regular work done tired me out even more.
So, I came home and had dinner followed by a rigorous session of lounging around on the Internet. I couldn’t even bring myself to surf the web intelligently. Instead I spent too much time on dating sites. That wouldn’t be so bad if I was actively trying to find somebody to go out with. I spent most of my time passing on each profile that came up. I find that as I’m getting more confident about dating I’m getting less interested in it. Even when I find a woman who I think I might be interested in I get daunted by what it would mean to be in a relationship or even go out on one date. I start to wonder if I would really want to bother. I keep thinking that if somebody else would make the first move, I might go for it. So far that isn’t really working, if that surprises anybody.
The notebook in which I wrote the outline is sitting next to me as I’m on the computer. I keep thinking that I’ll maybe look at it after all, that maybe once I take a look I might find something I can improve. But the more I think about it the more I realize how drowsy I’m getting. I think I might head off to bed early tonight.
Lest anybody think I’m a total dork the above doesn’t describe a typical day for me. I’m usually a lot more productive than this. I at least got a blog post done, didn’t I?