It’s not the writing itself that’s giving me issues lately, but trying to come up with subject matter. I don’t mean my blog; when I don’t write for that it’s because of lack of time or sheer laziness. But I’ve had the hardest time trying to come up with plot ideas for a screenplay (or any sort of fiction). I have bits and pieces floating around in my mind but they’re either too fanciful, too big or too “artsy” to really turn into something that I want to try selling as my first screenplay. (I have written two already, but I don’t count them in this as they were more exercises than anything I want to try to sell.)
Over the last couple of days I toyed with the idea of picking thirty blog posts at random and turning them into plot points on an outline for a new screenplay. I got as far as thirteen when I realized what a bad idea that was. It might be okay as an exercise, especially if I only stopped at the outline and didn’t try actually writing the thing. But I don’t have the time to spend in order to make something like that work. I’m tired of taking too long on this project. I don’t want to rush it—it should take as long as it should take. But I don’t want to take forever, either. At some point in my life I want to see something I wrote turned into a movie, albeit a box-office disaster.
Am I trying to hard to think of a plot? I don’t believe that one can just sit around waiting for inspiration to hit. It is possible to force oneself to work creatively. Still, I think I might be stressing myself out over this. I should note work has been a contributing factor in my overall stress over the last couple of weeks. The problems that I have had are behind me now, though, so things should calm down soon. That includes myself, which means my creative “juices” might start flowing again.
Of course, I could just simply have writer’s block. Obviously that’s not terribly unproductive as this is the umpteenth time that I have fallen back on writer’s block as a subject for a blog post. But when it comes to my fiction it’s becoming a major obstacle. It’s been getting worse lately. Has my well dried up? Is there a way around it? Am I just done as a writer?
Too much of my identity is wrapped up in being a writer (even though I haven’t quite gotten the hang of making money as one). I can’t imagine giving up. But is it possible that I should give up on this project and go back to the two novels I was working on, as well as more short stories to try selling online? I feel, though, like I haven’t really tried. It would be one thing if I wrote a screenplay and it turned out horribly. I’m fine with trying and failing. But I hate the feeling that I didn’t even try.