Sometimes I wonder if I have a negative worldview with all of my ranting and ravings on here sometimes. Often when I’m racking my brain for a topic for that day’s blog post I try to think about something that I can complain about, even if I’m not particularly angry at it at the moment. When I wonder about such a negative stance I call into question the negative sources of information that I subject myself to. Even they aren’t negative in the sense of people yelling about what’s wrong with the world. But there’s a lot of bullshit out there and as the saying goes, bad news sells. One could argue that by arguing against the wrongs of the world as one sees it, then one is implying that he or she has an alternative way of doing things that he or she hopes for. Still, I wonder if things go their way, will the activist groups that I support be satisfied?
(As a side note, isn’t it about time we finally came up with a set of non-gender specific third-person pronouns? I’m a feminist writer and all but having to write sentences like the one above is getting really annoying. This idea is not new. What’s taking so long?)
In my own life I have very little to be negative about. Even with the lowly job that I have despite my qualifications, I’m nowhere near poor. I’m a bit broke at the moment but only because I implemented a convenience. The set-up that my landlord and I agreed on in which my rent checks would go right to her bank account finally went through. That’s great on one hand but we had already agreed that she would wait a week to cash what we both thought would be a regular check that would get sent to her. Instead I have very little money to my name until payday and it came as a shock when I found out. Still, despite the negative there’s a positive involved, and I’ll have plenty of money by the end of the month.
Another frustration came with the fact that my motorcycle battery died this morning when I was about to ride it to work. I almost wrote an entire blog post about that today. But then I realized that it isn’t the end of the world and now that the month’s biggest expense is behind me I can buy a new battery on payday. Another positive is the fact that I own two vehicles and one of them is a motorcycle. Why should I be angry about that?
I hear about prejudice and discrimination all the time which I can get upset about but I have no perspective of to write from. As a white male in a predominantly white area of the world I don’t get to see much racism or sexism on a personal level. I don’t get out much and I don’t interact with the public much at work. I like it that way and want to keep my way of life. Still, it doesn’t make for much source material for the blog unless I read about something on the news that pisses me off. There’s plenty of reports out there that atheists are getting discriminated against, which bothers me. But I don’t get even that. When I worked at a convenience store people would try to engage me in conversation but they didn’t really harass me about it. I’ve only gotten one comment in regards to a post on this blog and in that case the person clearly didn’t read the whole article. (It got two “likes” though, so I’ll take that as a win.)
Really, when I settled into my life with just one job after about ten years of stress, the last two or three of which also included depression, I’ve become a mostly peaceful person. I’m trying not to let this influence my creative writing or music but when it comes to the blog I’m having a hard time taking an angry stance on something. As my life is also pretty boring I’m having a hard time coming up with ideas in the first place. Maybe I need to expose myself to more of what’s out there. Maybe this is just a phase. The last thing I want to do is change this blog completely again and only write about “fluffy” topics like video games or movies. I will include those here but I don’t want my blog post completely in the geek culture camp. I like to explore all the different areas of the woods.