Passing the barrier.

After I worked myself up yesterday about getting stuff done in terms of writing, music, and jogging, it came as no surprise that I was able to go beyond what I normally have accomplished in two of those areas. When I went jogging I pushed myself to a further “distance” (as measured by the treadmill) than I have been. I think it was around two and a quarter miles. I’m noticing lately it isn’t so much a matter of crossing the pain barrier as much as a boredom barrier. Podcasts help, especially the comedic ones. It’s funny how I jog better to talk shows than I do any of the metal podcasts I subscribe to. Anyway, I’m well on my way to the three miles I used to jog regularly before I injured my foot a year ago. It still aches from time to time but not nearly as much as it used to. I think a combination of time and exercise is helping it.

I then sat down at my computer and wrote an entire scene in the new novel. I mentioned it last week when I was trying to develop this new character. Instead of giving her special abilities because of some made-up bone condition, I merely made her a body-builder who delivers the final blow with a special glove that has steel claws on the fingertips. It made much more sense. As it was not the most important scene in the book it really didn’t need that much information anyway. It was to set up how much of a threat this character is as well as a means to kill off another character. I need to look through the novel’s outline, though. I don’t think I have her come back in a big enough way. Both the characters that I wrote in the scene last night are minor but I hope the scene has some impact.

Now I have to wonder…. What was that barrier? It didn’t hurt to jog for so long. It wasn’t a strain to write so much. What was I afraid of? At this point I can’t concern myself with failure. Am I afraid that I’ll succeed? Am I really concerned about spending the time to finish a novel or am I delaying the question in the end: “I have this book that I wrote, now what do I do?” It doesn’t feel like fear. Then again, I open up a whole other discussion on what different kinds of fear feel like. Right now I’m not even going to worry about the end result. I don’t want to put it off any longer. I write enough that I feel like a writer. I don’t need publishing to tell me that. That’s not to say that I’m not going to try to publish something. The publishing doesn’t feel like the ends to justify the means anymore.

Today is the day of the week (Wednesday) that I work on music instead of jogging. I’m going to switch up my usual schedule and work on writing first. I may practice a few easy classical pieces but I really want to spend more time working on Shadows of Immurement stuff. I also have some other music that I want to get out of my system, but it’s not quite a priority just yet. I have an older Popkin-Salvador song that I want to re-record with new lyrics, but I have to write those lyrics first. I may try my hand at them tonight. I still won’t work on the actual recording until I get the new equipment next month so it’s compatible with the other member of the group. Aside from that, a friend of ours agreed to sing the new second verse. So even if we do everything else we have to wait until she’s available to record those. After that, we may still work on new Popkin-Salvador songs but I won’t go into detail yet. Aside from all of that, I have one other song that I started writing the lyrics for. The music that I envision is minimal as I plan on this being more of a poem with a beat than a song (although it likely won’t sound like hip-hop). The writing of the lyrics is going to be the longest part of the process on that one.

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