Head-shaving.

I’ve been debating whether or not I want to stop shaving my head. I know it adds years but I’m reaching the age that it doesn’t make much of a difference. It’s not surprising for somebody who’s in his thirties to have a receding hairline (although you might notice that I still hate the “b” word). Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t about aging or getting older in general. If anybody remembers I went through all of that about a year and a half, maybe two years ago when I was depressed. I’m over that and largely don’t think about it anymore. As my hairline started going in my early twenties I never even thought about it as aging anyway.

My problem has always been a matter of aesthetics. Sure, I miss having a full head of hair. Before I started taking care of myself more generally I always felt my hair was my best feature. When I finally got out of the habit of letting my parents pressure me into going to get it cut every month and grew it long, it started falling out. For a while I had the beginnings of a “skullet” although by the time I shaved it was more thinning than receding. Then I saw a metal band play and realized if the singer can look diabolical with a shaved head than so could I. For many years I shaved my head to fit a metal aesthetic. I also thought it looked better every time I dressed up. If I ever get this live version of Shadows of Immurement off of the ground, then I would probably keep it shaved. It would look “creepier” than if I just looked like a middle-aged man.

I have worn bandannas to metal concerts when I let the hair go for a few days. I don’t think it looked terrible on me. Nobody said so to my face, anyway. To be honest, because it looks natural a receding hairline wouldn’t look out of place if I dress up by more conventional means. As the live version of Shadows of Immurement wouldn’t be for a while yet I can always shave it again before our first live gig. I can always shave it again for whatever reason. It’s just a pain in the ass to try to shave it if I change my mind and I let it go for a couple of weeks.

So, why do I want to let it go? I’m sick of shaving. To be honest, I’m thinking of growing the full beard with it. I would still shave the neck and keep the beard neat. I’m not one of those guys that wants a full “badass” beard. But trimming it would be a lot easier and cheaper than shaving the whole thing. I would feel weird leaving the beard and shaving the rest of the head. I hate that look.

I’m going to shave it today when I shower later as I’m still undecided. What’s one more time going to hurt? I’ll probably change my mind again, anyway. I tend to do that. Last time I tried this I didn’t like how it looked. But then my goal was to grow it long and have that “skullet” again. I’m not so sure I want to go that far. Then again, if I’m trying to avoid expense I wouldn’t want to bother with haircuts. I haven’t decided how long to grow it if I do so. Maybe I’ll just stick with shaving for the sake of decisiveness.

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