Knowledge versus personality.

I’m going to making some changes to this blog which necessitated holding off publishing for a few days. I intend on the change happening sometime this weekend. Between that and a schedule change at work I should resume posting on a more regular basis. My writing habits haven’t changed so I hope it isn’t too annoying that I had to publish so many posts in one day.

When I was in high school we had to take some sort of aptitude test to find out about our personalities and what we were good at. I thought it was going to be some sort of test to tell me what job would be best for me but I guess they don’t do that anymore. I remember some woman going over my results with me. She told me that I was math-oriented and must have been good at it. I pointed out that I wasn’t–aside from geometry I was terrible at math in school. She responded that the test might have meant that I am satisfied when I understand what happened in a math equation, that I like when things work out. This is correct. Years later a friend of mine pointed out that it isn’t so much that I’m not good at math but I have an aversion toward it. This is also correct.

The truth is that I’m not all that bad at math. I can understand it. When I finally get something I do feel that sense of satisfaction and relief. I could never stick with the subject in school. In fact I nearly didn’t finish college because of a math grade. My scholarship was dependant on my overall grade point average and my grade in the one math course I took nearly cost me that scholarship. (Falling asleep in class probably didn’t help much, either.) For some reason I couldn’t connect the dots on my own, but when more was explained to me I could figure it out. That’s my problem with math courses: there’s too much testing as opposed to just teaching. But the point is that I can work with math. I just know that if I got a job that was heavily dependant on math I would kill myself.

One can have the knowledge to do a job but they must have the personality for it as well. That was the final key to being able to accept that I wouldn’t be able to get a job with my degree. When I was an intern reporter at The York Weekly I wasn’t bad at the job. Nonetheless I wasn’t enjoying it very much. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to continue with it forever. I just can’t deal with people on that much of a regular basis. There’s always the tension that they’ll try to debate me on the subject that I’m reporting on, even though the reporter isn’t supposed to get involved in such discussions. Also, one isn’t not going to report on normal people doing everyday things. A news story has to be interesting and sometimes unpleasant. If people are willing to talk to the reporter they might be people that the reporter doesn’t want to talk to. Sometimes the people aren’t willing to talk to a reporter. The editor doesn’t take that as an excuse.

I understood all of that. While I’m critical of most major news outlets I still understand that there are several reporters, especially for local newspapers, that are trying to do their job properly. If, for some reason I would have to be interviewed for something, I would know how to carry myself. I know to be honest and thorough. It would only look bad if I wanted to hide something. I wouldn’t want to be the reporter, though. The only part of the job I really enjoyed was the writing, which I did at the office without interference after I conducted the interview. The courses in college I most enjoyed focused on the writing more than anything else. That’s why I should have become an English major. When I do get around going for my master’s degree, it will be in English.

I suppose in a way the aptitude test does apply to writing. There is satisfaction when one figures out how to construct a proper sentence. I’m finding that I am enjoying the revision process on my novel more than I thought I would. (Should you find any mistakes in this blog post, remember that this is only a writing exercise and I do little editing on blog posts before I publish them.) I have the knowledge on how to do this, and my personality allows it.


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