More laid-back about things.

I’m really having a hard time getting back into the groove of things after my vacation. It was over a week ago and I’m still having a hard time going to sleep at night. I don’t blame this on jet lag. There’s only a three hour difference between home and Seattle. I don’t even blame this on staying up later than usual every night while I was out there. That’s too be expected when I’m on vacation, and it only affects me for a day or two when I get back. No, what happened was poor planning.

In order to get a flight to get back home when I wanted to that Sunday, I had to take an early flight. The departure time was 7:15 in the morning. When I booked this flight I didn’t count on not being able to take a car out to the airport. When I found that out I figured that fine, I’ll just take a bus and then a train in the morning, similar to getting to Seattle from the airport when I arrived there. It turns out that there were no buses or trains running that early, which meant that I had to take a series of late buses the night before. I ended up getting at the airport around half past one in the morning, meaning I had to stay there for about five hours before the plane actually took off. I couldn’t even check my luggage right away, so it was dangerous for me to fall asleep.

Actually, I would have welcomed sleep, but the best I could manage was almost dozing off from time to time. When I finally got on the plane, I still couldn’t manage sleeping aside from a minute or two here or there. I think I did get about half an hour at one point but I’m not sure. At this point the travelling home was a blur. When I finally got home I had dinner and fell asleep on the couch. This in turn messed me up sleep-wise ever since. Nearly every evening after work I would drop off on the couch for an hour, not get to bed on time for the night, and having to get up early not getting a whole night’s sleep. It’s starting to even out now, but I’m still worried about missing a morning at work. Even more so, I’m worried about not being productive with working on this novel. I’m noticing my blog posts aren’t up to my usual standards, either–then again, I could just be beating myself up over nothing.

I’ve also been a bit more slack when it comes to doing things. I don’t know if the way people were more laid-back in Seattle has rubbed off on me or not. It could just be the effect of going on vacation. Either way, I’ve been constantly re-evaluating my priorities and goals lately. My routine is still there but I haven’t been strict about following it every day. I haven’t even been practicing guitar all that much. Of course, sleeping through practice time doesn’t help.

I don’t know if I’m going through a major change here or just a sort of phase. But I do remember posting a series of goals a while back when I was going through depression. I won’t repeat them because I don’t know if I really want to pursue them anymore. Maybe I needed more of a time off than a week. That was good to rest from work, but I need some other personal time for other needs.

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