While I have a fondness for rejecting labels, I’ve often been quick to apply them to myself as well. I have the power to pick and chose which labels which apply to me or the things I do, of course. I have at times, however, chosen also to denounce the use of labels as a whole. I want to resolve this contradiction to myself as much as to my regular readers. Of course I realize that I have contradicted myself on a number of occasions without bothering to reconciling the issue. What kind of intelligent person doesn’t change his or her mind when given time to think the matter over or discovers new facts? I take my contradictions to be one of the little quirks of this blog, and tend to leave it at that.
But the matter remains that there are labels that apply to me. These labels and their definitions were established long ago by other people, will be used for a long time by other people, and will constantly be thought of even subconsciously by other people when thinking about me. I try not to think of myself in terms of labels but they’re there and I have to deal with them from time to time.
If you read this far you’ll find that I’m a writer. Just because I’m not currently a professional, that doesn’t mean I’m not a writer. I’m just an amateur. When I was a reporter for a newspaper in York, I was a professional writer. At that time I was also a student, and got the job as an intern. I didn’t tell people that when I presented myself to them as an interviewer. I thought that label would be demeaning.
At work I’m the receiver, as I work out back and handle the receiving responsibilities. Depending on what paperwork you look at, you’ll find that my official job title could also be “department head” of the operations department. I prefer receiver. It’s more specific, more to the point, and I don’t have the same responsibilities as the other department heads. In the past, I have also been an associate and a clerk. When I mowed lawns for my sister’s then-in-laws I’m not sure what I would have called myself. A mower, perhaps?
I’m a vegetarian. Specifically, I’m an ethical lacto-ovo vegetarian. I may be slightly lactose intolerant, but not enough to worry about it. I tend to be a picky eater. Most of the time I’m just hungry. That could be because I’m underweight.
I’m a musician. That opens up a whole world of labels. What kind of music to I produce? It’s hard to pin down as far as anything I’ve done outside of Shadows of Immurement, but I would have to guess that most of my original work would be indie rock. Even Shadows of Immurement is tricky. I tell people that I make goth rock, but to be honest that’s not entirely accurate. I believe the latest album falls more under the category of death rock or dark rock, although the line between those isn’t quite so clear. I also have a heavy influence of cold wave and dark wave in there as well. Once I tried to make a black metal song years ago. It came out sounding more like crust punk.
I’m an American, but that one was forced upon me. I would prefer to think of myself as more of a world citizen, although I’m not too sure that “citizen” is accurate. I’ve never really been good at civil matters. Despite this, politically I’m closer to being a socialist than anything else. I nearly joined the Democratic Socialist party back when I was in college, but I’m not a joiner. I guess this makes me an independent. Really, for the most part I’m apolitical.
I’ve already gone over how I’m an agnostic atheist although I often emphasize the “atheist” part. Philosophically I’m on the fence as to whether or not I’m a Satanist. It tends to conflict with my views as a feminist. It may not, but if I have to question it I tend no to bother. I tend to form my own philosophy. Would that mean I’m a Marstonist?